The beginning step in bringing up children who are totally free of tantrums all of their childhood days is to stop subscribing to what the parenting experts have been advising us-that tantrums are normal and natural and highly inevitable and unpreventable when raising children. This concept is simply untrue. Virtually all kids could be raised tantrum-free if only the parents knew how to accomplish it. I can teach you how. My first five children, as babies, all threw tantrums, but my last eight didn't. When my fifth was fourteen months old, I learned what needed to be changed in my parenting style, and by one week or so he had totally stopped throwing tantrums. My last eight babies never threw temper tantrums because I'd taught them from the time they were born to trust me to respond the way they needed me to when they were angry.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I seriously doubt any parent could learn all there is to learn about parenting by one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I was still learning important skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I haven't stopped learning yet. Parents typically feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody enjoys openly admitting their parenting faults.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
About the Author:
Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.
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