There is nothing light about a bad or abusive relationship. And while I by no means want to trivialise this experience, it has occurred to me over the years that bad weight loss programs share some striking similarities with these bad/abusive relationships. Similarities, which, if taken with a grain of salt, expose to you why the ways in which you treat and view yourself negatively impact you from all ends.
Similarity #1: Control
This is really the crux of the similarities between these situations and something I will continue to come back to as I discuss the others.
Power and control are great traits in some situations, but when it comes to your relationships with others, or your relationship with yourself, they do more harm than good. Most ways of losing weight focus on control. You must control what, when, and how much you eat as well as where, when, and how much your exercise. The more control you exert, the more success you experience. Similarly, bad relationships usually rely on the dominant partner exhibiting control over the weaker one.
Similarity #2: Isolation
Feeling alone enhances control. Just as abusive partners try to isolate their victims to maintain their control so, too, do conventional programs for losing weight. You cannot go out to eat with friends or enjoy a party without feeling guilty and so you isolate yourself, maintain your bubble of perfection, and lose the best parts of your life, the people who truly care about you, instead.
Similarity #3: Rules
In both bad relationships and unsuccessful weight loss systems it is the rules that produce the control and isolation. You must comply 100% or risk 'failure' and harm. However, by and large, these rules are impossible to follow. They expect too much from you and breaking them only makes new, harder rules appear as you come to grips with your failure.
Similarity #4: Low Self-Esteem
Maintaining power and control is easier if the person being controlled doesn't feel good enough on his or her own. Usually people who end up in bad relationship or turn to radical ways to lose weight have low self-esteem at the outset, but it is made worse through the process. As you feel less and less able to 'make it on your own' the 'solution' becomes the abusive partner or program. Only through 'success', making them happy, will you be worthy. But that never actually happens. Instead, lowering your self-esteem only serves to reduce your ability to survive without the boundaries a person or program has set and keeps you coming back for more.
Similarity #5: You Cannot Live Without Them
Once the effects of low self-esteem drag you in, you reach a point where you cannot live without the approval, the actualisation that the bad situation provides. Abusers may literally tell you that you cannot make it on your own and so, too, do most weight loss programs. The problem is that your brain, a living, developing entity, cannot always distinguish these false claims for the hog wash that they are. So you start to believe the voices in your own head that inform you of just how useless you are on your own.
How to Make a Difference
Though the difficulty of walking away from a bad relationship is light years beyond the difficulty of finding a good weight loss system, the solution to both is the same. The only way to get help is to change yourself because you cannot change them. Good partners and healthy relationships exist, as do good, healthy ways to lose weight. You just need to gather the strength to go find them.
If you want to learn more about how you can create a healthy eating relationship with food, check out my online weight loss program Love Your Weight Loss! The program empowers you with the knowledge to make informed decisions regarding your diet, exercise regime and lifestyle. You will learn to love your journey, rather than struggle against it. So if you want to lose weight online and gain access to a variety of tips along the way, join Love Your Weight Loss at https://sallysymonds.com.au/ now!
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