Monday, April 21, 2014

I'm a Great Mom / Employee / Wife, But I'm Not Happy or Proud of Me. Why the Disconnect?

I have two big, red overstuffed chairs in my consult area. Normally when I first start working with a new weight-loss or coaching client, we'll both sit down and talk about what her goals are, where she wants to focus, and what's been going on in her life that has caused her to gain weight or become unhappy with her life.
Every woman that has sat in one of those chairs has expressed some variation on this topic: I'm such a great _________, how come I'm not happy or proud of myself?
It makes me really sad to see how women particularly tend to put every other person in their lives before them.
Sarah's Story
I've known Sarah (name was changed) for a long time. Last week, we sat in the big red chairs and had a get-real conversation about her weight concerns. She revealed to me that she only eats once a day because she gets so busy with her four-year old twins and her career.
I looked at her and said, "Sarah, would you ever feed your twins only once a day?"
"Hell no!" was her response.
"Then why is it okay to do that to yourself?" I asked.
Treat Yourself as You Would Treat Your Best Friend
For some reason, we women have a tendency to treat others better than we treat ourselves. We talk to others more kindly, we give them more time, and we make sure they have what they need.
Why aren't we doing this for ourselves? When it comes to negative self-talk, I like to remind my female clients that if they talked like that to their best friend, they wouldn't have a best friend for very long!
For 30 Minutes: Say 'No' to Others and 'Yes' to Yourself
Remember: the most successful people in life say 'No' more often than they say 'Yes.'
Your assignment this week is to set aside about 30 minutes every day to focus entirely on you. I challenge you to really take this on, really try it out fully, and see what happens. Be creative with how you spend those 30 minutes. Will it be filled with exercise, a good book, meditation or another healthy habit?
I bet that when you give yourself this time, you'll feel more fulfilled. The other things in your life that you're proud of are going to be even better because you'll feel so great about yourself. Need another reason for self-care? Well, happiness is practically guaranteed when you take care of yourself. Is 30 minutes a day too much of a sacrifice to guarantee happiness? Of course not!
Where can you say 'No' in a powerful way to make more room for your self-care?
Christie Miller offers a balanced approach to healthy living through diet, exercise and life coaching. She does not believe in deprivation, forbidden foods or spending hours upon hours in the gym. Living healthy and happy is all about moderation and planned indulgences.
Christie is certified in nutrition, personal training and life coaching. Using this combined knowledge, she created a 5-part video series called "Why Dieters Fail". Grab it for FREE at  http://www.EatTrainWin.com to guarantee you never fail at dieting again.
Eat healthy, Train daily, Win happiness!

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